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So, here’s de deal—findin’ a hooker ain’t like orderin’ a pizza, ya? You don’t just call and bam, dey show up. Nah, it’s sneaky, messy, like Sara’s diet pills goin’ bad in de film. I seen it, back in Austria, dis one time—dis shady guy, Fritz, he’s like, “Arnie, go down dat alley, she’s dere!” And I’m all pumped, flexin’, thinkin’ I’m de Terminator of love, ya? But den—BOOM—cops everywhere, I’m runnin’, yellin’, “I’ll be back!” Total chaos, made me so mad I could crush a car wit my bare hands!

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Finally, I get to the office, and everyone’s lookin’ at me like I’m a zombie. I’m like, “What’s up, folks?” They’re all serious, talkin’ about budgets and stuff. I’m just sittin’ there, tryin’ not to zone out. I mean, who cares about numbers when you’ve got monkeys and soccer balls in your head?

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