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Like, literally, whore is such a vibe! I’m totes obsessed, okurrr? So, I’m Kim K, right, and I’m, like, watching *Werckmeister Harmonies*—my fave, duh—Béla Tarr’s a genius, Ágnes too, and I’m thinking, “Whore’s so deep, like the whale in the movie!” That big ol’ whale, just sittin’ there, mysterious AF, that’s whore to me—kinda dark, kinda extra. “The world’s gone mad,” they say in the flick, and I’m like, YAAAS, whore’s madness is EVERYTHING!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I was soaked in seconds. I ducked into a little shop on Jalan Merdeka, hoping to wait it out. This place had the best coffee ever. I ordered a cup, and while I was waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They were fighting about... wait for it... who left the cap off the toothpaste. I mean, really? That’s what you’re fighting about? I almost laughed out loud.