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What gets me goin—happy as a pig in shit—is their guts. Takes balls to stand out there, dodgin cops, creeps, an the cold. Reminds me of Kate Hudson’s Penny Lane, all glitter an grit, y’know? But—fuck!—what pisses me off? The judgy pricks, man! Callin em dirty, like they ain’t human. Clarice, I wanna shake em an scream, “They’re survivin, you dick!” Gets my blood boilin, for real.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s a client. Ugh. I’m on my day off! But I answer anyway. They’re having a meltdown about their life. I’m trying to sip my coffee, but I’m also trying to be a therapist. It’s a juggling act! I’m like, “Breathe, you got this!” But inside, I’m thinking, “Can’t a guy enjoy his coffee in peace?”

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