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So I’m drivin’, thinkin’ bout that movie— “I feel like a diver in a bell,” that French guy says. Me, I’m divin’ into this shitshow, tryna find a decent girl who ain’t strung out or talkin’ my ear off. Last week, I pick one up—cute, red hair, legs for days. She hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m happy for a sec, like, “Fuck yeah, jackpot!” Then she starts yappin’— “My ex this, my pimp that.” I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your therapist, let’s keep this transactional!” Surprised me how they always got a sob story. Guess it’s part of the gig.
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So, I’m waiting in line, and this dude in front of me drops his phone. It goes splat right on the pavement. I’m like, “Bro, you good?” He just stares at it like it’s a bomb. I mean, it’s just a phone, right? But nah, he’s acting like it’s the end of the world. I chuckle a bit, but then I realize, wait, I’ve dropped my phone before too. Oof, karma’s a b*tch.
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