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About Semarang

Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout whores! Been sailin’ the seas, seen ‘em all—grubby ports, stinkin’ taverns, the lot. Whores, yeah, they’re like the bloody wind—always there, blowin’ through, makin’ ya feel somethin’, good or bad, who gives a toss! I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, so you know I’ll rip into this with a cackle and a pint. Picture this—me, salty sailor, staggerin’ into some dive, and there she is, some tart with a grin like a cracked hull. Reminds me of *The Tree of Life*—y’know, “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?”—cos she’s been around that long, swear down!

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But wait! I get a call from my buddy, Rizky. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out this new café on Jalan Pahlawan.” I’m thinking, “I’m so done.” But then he mentions their coffee is to die for. I’m like, “Fine, one more stop.”

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