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So, picture this—some chick, let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not? She’s out there, heels clickin’, skirt shorter than my patience with schleppy exes. I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re workin’ harder than that horse pullin’ the cart!”—y’know, from the movie? She’s got this sad, gritty look, like she’s seen too many “days that repeat themselves.” That line kills me! Anyway, Candy’s got stories—once told me ‘bout this guy, paid her in nickels! NICKELS! I was screamin’, “What is this, 1890?!” Made me so mad, I coulda spit! But also—kinda funny, right? *NAAAHAHAHA*

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Then, just when I think the day can’t get crazier, this old dude rolls in with a classic car. I mean, this thing is a beauty! But it’s making this weird noise. I’m like, “What’s up with that?” He’s all, “It’s been acting up since I drove it from Jl. Soekarno.” I’m like, “Dude, you drove that thing all the way here?”

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