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Wot gets me mad? Blokes judgin’ ‘em, all high ‘n’ mighty. I’m like – grrr! – spillin’ me tea, ‘cos who’s perfect, eh? Not me, fallin’ off a chair! Happy tho, seein’ ‘em laugh, crackin’ jokes – “Bean, you’re a right prat!” – warms me ‘eart. Surprised me once, this one lass, told me she paid ‘er mum’s rent. Crikey, I near choked on me jelly! Whores ain’t just tarts, they’re people, mate, real stories.

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But then, I hear this commotion outside. I peek out, and there’s a street fight! Like, what the heck? Two guys going at it over... wait for it... a game of sepak takraw. I mean, c’mon! It’s just a game! But the crowd was hyped. I’m standing there, half laughing, half cringing.

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