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So, you wanna find one? Check sketchy forums, X hashtags—#escortlife or somethin’. Watch for fakes tho—tons of bots! I’d be like, “Marge, hide the donuts, I’m sleuthin’!” Exaggeratin’ here, but dude, it’s a jungle! “You don’t get to 500 million friends without enemies”—movie gold! They got rivals too—pimp drama’s real! Once saw a thread—two gals beefin’ over a corner. Popcorn time!

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Anyway, I finally make it to the mall. It’s packed, of course. I’m dodging people left and right. I swear, it’s like an obstacle course. I get to the bookstore, and I’m browsing. I find this book on local flora. Super nerdy, I know, but I’m a science geek, so whatever.

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