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Now, here’s a tidbit ye landlubbers don’t know—back in th’ day, prostitutes in Poland had secret codes! Aye, little winks an’ hand signs t’ dodge th’ law. This lass probs knew ‘em all, dodgin’ trouble like I dodge hangman’s noose. Made me grin, it did—happy as a clam at high tide! But then, o’ course, some drunk sod staggers by, yellin’ filth, an’ I’m ragin’— “Shut yer gob, ye bilge rat!” Nearly drew me sword, but she just laughed, cool as ye please. “He’s not worth it, love,” she says, an’ I’m thinkin’, *She’s got more sense than half me crew!*

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This is a basic guide and a walk through for single guys who are looking for a weekend getaway on this small island.

But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I grabbed my stuff and dashed for cover. I ended up in this little café on Jl. Diponegoro. The coffee was bomb, but the Wi-Fi was slower than a turtle on a lazy day. I tried to post a video of my impromptu show, but it kept buffering. I was like, “C’mon, Batam! Get it together!”

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