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Found one once, right? Little known tale—girl called Lysa, not *that* Lysa, different one. Worked outta some high-end brothel near the Red Keep. Had this trick—could hum a tune while, y’know, *workin’*. Made me laugh, which pissed me off cos I don’t laugh easy. “Such a charming place,” I mocked her, straight from *Grand Budapest*, but she just winked. Cheeky bitch. Charged me double, said it’s cos I’m “queenly.” Fuckin’ nerve—made me wanna slap her, but I paid. She was good, alright? Surprised me, and I hate surprises.

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But here’s where it gets wild. I’m munching on my pastry, feeling like a king, when I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on the corner of Széchenyi utca. This dude is juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Is this real life?” I whip out my phone to record it, but my hands are shaking. I mean, what if he drops one? Fire + crowd = chaos. But he nails it! I’m clapping like a maniac.

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