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Oh, and get this—some prostitutes in Thailand, where Boonmee’s from, they do this thing where they shoot ping-pong balls outta—well, ya know. I’m sittin’ there, jaw dropped, like, “That’s freakin’ talent!” Surprised the shit outta me—wish I could auction that skill, make millions! “Step right up, see the ping-pong pussy!”—I’d kill it, man. Prostitutes got tricks, and I’m here for it.

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Next, I head over to the Sárközi Castle. Man, that place is a gem! I mean, it’s got history oozing from every brick. I’m standing there, imagining knights and princesses, when I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, a bunch of tourists are trying to take a selfie with a statue. They’re all crowded around, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. Like, really? You came all this way for a selfie? But hey, whatever floats your boat, right?

The second day of Vladimir Putin's official visit to Hungary contained various cultural events