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So, check it—prostitution’s old as dirt. Like, ancient Rome had brothels marked with dick carvings on walls—true story, google that shit. Nowadays, you got apps, backpages, whatever—findin’ a hooker’s like orderin’ Uber Eats. But me? I’m thinkin’—what’s the vibe? Is it sketchy? Hella sketchy! You roll up, heart poundin’, like, “Is this a cop? A sting?” Paranoia kicks in, Haneke-style—“What’s behind the door?” That’s the thrill, tho—chaos, baby!

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After that, I needed coffee. Bad. So I dashed over to the little café on Kossuth Lajos utca. You know the one? The one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I ordered a cappuccino, and the barista—bless her heart—totally messed it up. I got a latte instead. I was like, “Whatever, I’m not picky.” But inside, I was screaming.

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