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Lemme spill it—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs. It’s old, like ancient-old. Think Rome, orgy vibes, oil everywhere. They’d slather ya up, no kiddin’. Made me happy knowin’ folks been freaky forever. Little factoid: Japan’s got this nuru thing—slippery seaweed gel! Sounds wild, right? Hmm… Homer’d slip off the table!

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But then, just when I think it’s over, I get a call from my buddy Zoltan. He’s at the market on Széchenyi utca, and he’s freakin’ out. Apparently, a goat got loose. A GOAT! I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?” But he’s all panicked, sayin’ it’s runnin’ around, knockin’ over fruit stands. I can’t help but laugh.

In Memoriam Professor Ferenc Szűcs