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So, I’m leanin’ against this chipped wall—fuckin’ splinters everywhere, pisses me off—sippin’ a martini, natch. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sizin’ her up. Did ya know, back in the day, Rome’s hookers had their own guild? True story—called themselves “meretrices,” fancy as fuck. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how they’d strut past the Colosseum, dodgin’ drunk senators. History’s wild, innit?

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So, I’m walking down the main street, feeling all good, when I see this street performer on Rákóczi utca. Dude’s playing the violin like he’s in a movie or something. I stop, totally vibing, and then—WHAM! A pigeon poops on my head. Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy some culture here! I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “C’mon, universe, cut me some slack!”

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