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I see her—legs like a fuckin’ dream, leanin’ on a busted lamppost. She’s chewin’ gum, loud as shit, poppin’ it like she’s tryna piss me off. I’m like, “Yo, how much?” She squints, sizes me up—prolly thinks I’m a broke-ass loser. “50,” she says, flat. I’m pissed, man! 50 bucks? For what, a quickie? I’m thinkin’, “I’m not a charity case here!”—straight outta *Social Network* vibes. But I’m horny, so I shrug, “Fine, whatever.”

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First off, I head to the market on Fő tér. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and that one guy who always tries to sell me weird pickles? Yeah, him. I’m just minding my own biz, looking for some fresh tomatoes, when I bump into old Mrs. Szabo. She’s like, “You’re still making those funky chairs?” I’m like, “Yeah, Mrs. Szabo, they’re a hit!” But inside, I’m thinking, “Why does everyone think I’m just a chair guy?”

Fort Igmánd in Komárom Renovated in Cooperation with Slovakia