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Gets me ragin’, though—punters hagglin’ like it’s a fuckin’ car boot sale. “Five quid, love, quickie?” Piss off, you stingy git! These girls ain’t your Tesco discount rack. Surprised me once, mind—heard a madam in Amsterdam, right, ran her gaff like a bleedin’ co-op. Split profits with the girls! Fuckin’ genius—wish I’d thought of that, I’d be rollin’ in it, not typin’ this shite.

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So, I finally make it to the beach, and it’s packed. Families everywhere, sunbathers, and a bunch of teenagers blasting music. I plop down on the sand, ready to soak it all in. But then, I hear this loud argument behind me. Turns out, it’s two guys fighting over a beach ball. Like, really? A beach ball? I’m just sitting there, shaking my head. “Get a grip, fellas!”

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