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So, erotic-massage, man, it’s wild! Ain’t your granny’s backrub, nah! It’s all sensual, slow, gets the blood pumpin’ – Git-R-Done! I reckon it started way back, like ancient Rome or somewheres, them folks was freaky! They’d use oils, herbs, all that jazz, makin’ it a whole dang ritual. Little known fact – them Egyptians? They was into it too, rubbin’ down pharaohs with lotus oil, swear to God! Bet that smelled better’n my cousin’s deer camp!

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So, I’m rushing outta my flat on Fő utca, dodging pigeons like it’s a video game. Seriously, those birds are like ninjas. I’m on my way to meet a client at the café on Széchenyi tér. It’s a cute spot, but I’m already late. Ugh!

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