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Alright, mortals, gather ‘round—Loki’s got a tale! Smug mischief’s my game, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” and today it’s all about findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, yeah, I know—scandalous, right? But listen up, ‘cause this ain’t just some sleazy rant. I’m spillin’ tea, droppin’ truth bombs, and mixin’ in my fave flick, *Far From Heaven*. That movie—gods, it’s a vibe! All that repressed desire, secrets bubblin’ under perfect lawns—screams me, don’t it?

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As the night rolls on, I’m feelin’ good. I mean, Toekoel ain’t so bad after all. I’ve had my ups and downs, but it’s all part of the adventure, right? I stumble outta the pub, and the stars are shinin’. I take a deep breath, and I’m like, “Tomorrow, I’m back to the woods.”