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About Pecs

So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever, they’re all the same. People actin’ all hot n’ heavy, droppin’ lines like, “Wanna Netflix n’ chill?” Yeah, okay, buddy, chill with what—your crusty socks? I tried it once—swear to God, chick said she’s “adventurous,” code for “I’ll ghost ya after one drink.” Infuriating! Wasted my damn time. Coulda been watchin’ *Spotlight* again, gettin’ mad at the world instead of some flake. “You can’t handle the truth!”—damn right, ‘cause it’s buried under filters and fake moans.

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But then, bam! I see this kid, right? He’s got a sheepdog, and it’s barking like crazy. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a sheep!” But nah, this kid’s all hyped up. Turns out, he’s training the dog for a competition. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I should’ve brought my sheep. We’d win for sure!”

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