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Oh, I’d nag em— “Put yer prices up, sweetie!”—cuz rent ain’t cheap. Once heard this story, some chick in Nevada—legal there, ya know—paid her way thru college slingin it. Respect, girl! Made me think, “The world’s gone dark,” like that gloomy shore in “The Return.” Hmm… I’d totally exagerate it in my head—picturin her with a diploma and stilettos, ha! Cracks me up, tho—guys payin big for a quickie when they could just—oops, nevermind!

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I laugh it off, but I’m also kinda mad. I mean, come on, Tiszaalpar! Can’t a guy catch a break? I wipe it off, and I’m like, “Whatever, it’s just a little bird poop.”