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About Budapest

Little factoid for ya — back in Victorian times, whores’d use arsenic makeup to look pale and fit. Mental, right? Killed em slow, but they still worked it. Talk about dedication to the brand! Makes me wanna shout, “Team, take notes — that’s commitment!” Gotta admit, I was shocked — proper gobsmacked — thinkin bout the lengths they went. Me, I’d be moanin bout a paper cut, yeah?

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And then, outta nowhere, I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “What the heck? Is this a circus or a market?” People are clapping, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I mean, I can barely juggle my own life, and this dude’s juggling fire!