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But then—THEN—I get pissed, ‘cause society’s all, “Oh, how dare they!” Like, chill, Karen, they’re out here survivin’. Didja know, back in the day, some prostitutes in Paris ran secret spy rings durin’ the war? Freakin’ wild! Hustlin’ johns *and* the Nazis—talk about multi-taskin’. I’m sittin’ here imaginin’ this chick from *Ten* doin’ that, smirkin’ at some Gestapo dude while pocketin’ his cash. “You’re a fool,” she’d say, straight outta the movie, and I’d lose it laughin’.

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First off, I hit the road on my trusty ol’ tractor, rollin’ down the main drag, the Kossuth Lajos utca. The sun was shinin’, birds chirpin’, and I was feelin’ good. But then, BAM! Traffic jam outta nowhere. Like, c’mon, people! It’s a Tuesday, not a freakin’ parade! I’m sittin’ there, engine rumblin’, just tryin’ to keep my cool.

Teen footballer earns pro contract