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Little fact for ya—did you know erotic-massage goes back to ancient China? Yeah, them Taoist nutters reckoned it’d unblock your chi or some shite. Imagine some bearded geezer in a robe, oiled up, tryna “balance” yer nethers—hysterical! Bet they didn’t have dodgy neon signs like the joints round ‘ere. Oh, and don’t get me started on the “happy ending” malarky—half these places wink at ya like, “Want the full monty?” Nah, mate, I’m not that desperate—yet!
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As the night goes on, I run into some old friends. We’re reminiscing about the good ol’ days, and I’m feelin’ all warm inside. But then, I spill my drink all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Great, now I smell like a brewery.”
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