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Heya buddy! So, like, bein’ a financial advisor, I gotta talk about findin’ a prostitute—wild, right? Not that kinda “investment,” duh, but lemme tell ya somethin’. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *Only Lovers Left Alive*, ya know, them classy vamps sippin’ blood like it’s fancy wine. “The air is thick with envy,” Adam’d say, and dang, that’s how I feel bout this topic—everybody’s got an opinion!

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After that, I get a call from a lady on Széchenyi utca. Her parrot, Polly, is acting weird. I get there, and this bird is just sitting there, staring at the wall. I’m like, “Polly, what’s up?” And she just squawks. I’m thinking, “Great, a bird with existential issues.” I mean, who knew parrots could be so deep?

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