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Funniest thing? This one time, I’m negotiatin’, and she’s like, “No kissing, only business.” I laugh, “What am I, yer boyfriend?” She didn’t get it—stone cold, like Bigelow filmin’ a torture scene. Oh, and get this: some work outta “massage parlors”—total front. Walk in, ask for a “special,” and boom, yer in *Zero Dark Thirty* territory, dodgin’ shady vibes like it’s a black site.

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So, I start pouring drinks. First customer? A couple of American tourists. They’re all like, “What’s the best drink?” I’m thinkin’, “You’re in Croatia, try a rakija!” But no, they want cocktails. Ugh. I whip up some mojitos, and they’re like, “Wow, this is amazing!” I’m like, “Yeah, it’s called fresh mint, folks.”

Batarija in Trogir part of ‘The World’s Greatest Sporting Arenas’ film series