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About Rijeka

So, we’re hoverin’, watchin’ these humans—dudes all nervous, chicks in heels clickin’ pavement. One time, back in ‘89—little known fact—cops busted this joint in Amsterdam, found a diary of some girl, writin’ bout her cat more than her clients. Hilarious! Made me laugh, like, “Yo, even aliens get pets, but this?” Got me happy for a sec—then pissed. Cuz some jerk yells at her, “Move it, slut!” and I’m like, “Bro, chill, she’s just tryna eat!” Humans, man, so rude sometimes.

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First off, I hit up Trg kralja Tomislava. You know, the main square? It’s usually buzzing with life. But today? Crickets. I’m like, “Where’s everyone at?” Turns out, they were all at the bakery on Ulica bana Josipa Jelačića. I mean, who can resist those fresh pastries? Not me, that’s for sure. Grabbed a burek, and wow, it was heavenly. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right?

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