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I’d be ragin’ happy if I scored one, tho. “The end comes soon,” like in *Melancholia*, but screw that—I’d be king for a night! Maybe she’d be hot, maybe not, but I’d yell, “You’re my planet now, bitch!” Total Cartman move. Still, it’s risky—could get robbed or somethin’. Makes me mad thinkin’ about it! Don’t mess with me, I’m Eric freakin’ Cartman!

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After the power comes back, I’m finally done with work. I meet up with Marc at that new bar. It’s packed! The vibe is lit, and I’m feeling good. We grab some drinks, and I’m just enjoying the moment. Then, I see this girl across the bar. She’s got this killer smile. I’m like, “Okay, Tignieu, you’re full of surprises today!”