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So I’m skulkin’ about, right, tryna find a tart—ain’t as easy as you’d think! Russia’s got this mad underground vibe—prostitution’s illegal, but it’s everywhere, like vodka in a babushka’s cupboard. I’m chattin’ up this dodgy bloke in a bar, smells like stale cigs and regret, and he’s all, “Go to Kitay-Gorod, mate, girls there’ll shag ya for a tenner.” A tenner! I’m cacklin’—what a bargain, eh? Made me happy as a pig in shite, coz I love a good deal. But then I’m thinkin’, *Spotlight* style, “How do you ignore this?”—coz these lasses ain’t exactly livin’ the dream, are they? Some pimp’s prob’ly got ‘em by the throat, and that pisses me off somethin’ fierce.

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Finally, I get my drink and head to the market on Place de la Mairie. Man, the vibe there is always buzzing. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of baked goods. I’m walking past this stall, and I see these strawberries. They look bomb! I’m like, “Yo, I’ll take a kilo!” But then the vendor, this old lady, she’s like, “Five euros!” I’m thinking, “What? For strawberries?!” I mean, I love Tignieu, but c’mon!