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Gollum likes it rough—hiss—rubbing knots out, ouch! Once got a masseuse, hands like vices—thought she’d snap me spine! Laughed, tho—called her “Sarge,” like flick! “Hang on, we’re going home,” I mumbled—felt like a mission done. Exaggerate? Sure, felt like she massaged me soul out—poof! Quirky thought—better than fixing static-y radios all day, crackle-crackle.

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Next, I head to the park, Parc de la Mairie. I need to clear my head, right? But it’s packed with families and kids running around. I’m trying to find a quiet spot, but it’s like a circus. I finally plop down on a bench, and this old man next to me starts chatting. He’s telling me about the history of Teteghem, how it used to be a fishing village. I’m like, “Wow, that’s cool,” but also thinking, “Dude, I just wanna sit in peace!”

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