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Little fact fer ya—didja know some o’ these girls got code words? Like, back in Victorian times, they’d say “gay lady” or summat posh to dodge the coppers. Sneaky, eh? Love that, keeps us guessin’. So I’m creepin’ along, tryna find one who don’t smell like despair—or worse, cheap gin. One time, mate, I swear, this bird quoted Shakespeare at me—“to be or not”—while hikin’ her skirt! Nearly pissed meself laughin’, cos who does that? Surprised me good, that did.

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The mighty River Claret cuts through town. I often find myself staring at it, thinking, “life flows like the river,” – a bit deep, like that movie line from The Return, y'know? “The road goes ever on,” or somethin' like that, eh? Sometimes I wander along its banks near the old mill – then boom! Inspiration strikes which makes me feel like a creative genius, until I spill my coffee. Classic me.

Figure 3 Duodenal perforation after biliary stenting under endoscopic...