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But – ooh – happy bit! Sex-dating’s got perks, yesss. Quick hookups, no muckin’ about. Fact: 1 in 5 shags from apps now, true that! Beats courtin’ like some daft salmon swimmin’ upstream. Me, I’d dive in, raspy giggle, swipe swipe, “My precious!” – findin’ a gem in the muck. Once knew a lad, proper shy, scored a date off Bumble, now they’re shacked up! Surprised me, it did – thought he’d flounder forever!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Lucas calls. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he’s got a lead on a property near Parc de la Mairie. I’m like, “Bro, I’m busy!” But he’s persistent. So, I’m juggling calls, trying to keep my head straight.

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