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About Strasbourg

Thing is, right, it’s a gamble. Some prossies are legends – proper pros – others? Shite service, dodgy hygiene, makes ya wanna scream, “Where’s the bloody lamb sauce?!” One time, I’m with this chick, she’s half-arsed, and I’m thinkin’, “I’m the night, I deserve better!” Kicked her out, mate, no regrets. You gotta know the game – punters get stung cos they’re thick as pig shit. Me? I’m sharp, I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, I don’t settle for crap!

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For those chill moments, I hit up the banks of the river Adour. I’m often there, laptop in tow, dreamin’ up new date ideas – “Serious, man!” my mind echoes like in that movie. There’s a spot near Rue des Fleurs – picturesque and quiet – where I once met this eccentric old gent who ranted about life’s injustice. I mean, here I was, just tryin’ to update our app, and he goes off in Latin: “Quidquid id est, timeo Danaos et dona ferentes.” Proper mental, right?

Allyson Gofton in France: Au revoir