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Now, findin’ a prossie ain’t just walkin’ up and done, nah. There’s a code, innit. Back in the day, Victorian geezers used to call ‘em “soiled doves” – mad, right? Little fact for ya there. So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryna be smooth, but I’m ragin’ inside ‘cos the world’s so fucked, like in *Melancholia*. “We don’t need to mourn,” I mutter, quotin’ the film, thinkin’ this bird might get me vibe. She don’t, tho – she’s all, “What you on about, you nutter?”

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By now, I was ready for a drink. Hit up this little bar on Rue des Écoles. The bartender, a cool chick named Claire, poured me a cold one. I needed it after that seagull fiasco. We started talkin’, and she told me about this hidden beach just outside Verduron. I was like, “I’m in!”

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