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About Bordeaux

So, this bird, she’s a prozzie, yeah? Been at it since the ‘90s, reckon she shagged half the Arsenal squad—little known fact, that! Used to work near the old Highbury, punters callin’ her “Gooner’s Delight.” Made me laugh, that did, proper tickled me pink—cos she’s still kickin’, dodgin’ coppers like a striker dodgin’ a tackle. I’m like, “Fair play, love, you’ve got stamina!” But Christ, it pisses me off—society’s all “Ooh, poor soul,” but she’s out there, cash in hand, smirkin’ like she’s won the FA Cup!

Going undercover as a sex worker

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Some lady, Marie, was going off about how the park should have a petanque court. I mean, I get it, but c’mon! We need more than just boules and sunbathing! I threw in my two cents about a playground for the kids. You should’ve seen the looks I got. Like, I just suggested we build a spaceship or something.

New Headteacher Joins Vauvert School