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I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

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But then, I see this old man outside, just starin’ at me. He’s got this wild beard and a hat that looks like it’s been through a war. He shouts, “You call that ridin’? My grandma rides better!” I’m like, “Okay, grandpa, let’s see you try!”

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