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But yo, got pissed fast—some dude tried scammin me, fake profile, catfish-level crap. Thought I’d vibe like Ennis Del Mar, all stoic, but nah, I’m yellin, “Bro, I’ll yeet you to orbit!” Little known fact: back in the 90s, hookers used pagers—OG tech, beep-beep, booty call. Surprised me—thought it’d be all holograms by now, sci-fi style. Nope, still gritty, human, messy.

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Then, I see this dude, right? He’s got a pig on a leash. A freakin’ pig! I’m like, “Bro, I’m the swineherd here!” But he’s all smug, like he’s the king of Torcy or somethin’. I’m fuming. I mean, who walks a pig in the park? I’m about to say something, but then I remember my mom’s advice: “Don’t start fights you can’t finish.” So, I just roll my eyes and keep walking.

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