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I’m chattin her up, tryna figure her deal. She’s dodgy—keeps it vague, like she’s hidin a Stasi file. “What’s your name, sweetness?” I ask, leanin in all Hannibal-style. “Candy,” she says, smirkin. Candy—ha! Bet that’s fake as my last paycheck. Makes me mad, tho—why lie? Just be real, damn it! But then she winks, and i’m like, “Alright, ya got me.” Happy as a kid with candy—ironic, huh?

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Man, what a day! I swear, being an insurance investigator in Simiane-Collongue is like being in a soap opera. Seriously, I woke up thinking it’d be just another boring Tuesday. Boy, was I wrong!

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