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Sometimes tho, it’s hilarious. Matched with a guy who sent “wyd” at 3 a.m.—bro, I’m sleepin’, not sextin’! Laughed my ass off. Other times, it’s like—why’m I here? Scrollin’ horny zombies. “These nights are endless,” Adam groans, and same, dude, same. Sex-dating apps suck ya dry sometimes. Still, I’m hooked—chasin’ that spark, that “oh shit, this could work” moment.

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I fix her glasses, and she’s all smiles. “You’re a lifesaver!” she says. I’m feeling like a hero for a sec. But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Max. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” I’m like, “What’s up?” He just says, “Trust me.”

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