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But then—ugh—the fakes! Drives me nuts, man. Half these profiles? Bots or scammers, I’m sure of it. “Cotton, you’re too naive!”—that’s me again, arguin’ with myself. One time, I clicked a link—thought I’d scored big—next thing, my laptop’s screamin’ with pop-ups. Had to chuck it out the window—okay, not really, but I wanted to! Cost me 50 bucks to fix—thanks, Find a Prostitute, real classy.

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Finally, the power comes back on. I’m back in business, but now it’s lunchtime. I decide to hit up that food truck on Rue de la Gare. Best tacos in town, no joke! I’m standing in line, and this guy in front of me drops his phone. I pick it up, and it’s cracked. I’m like, “Dude, you need a case!” He just laughs and says, “Yeah, I’m a klutz.”

Hermès spends €300 million to buy premises of Rue de Sèvres store in Paris