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So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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You can work as a prostitute almost anywhere, with the exception of certain areas in some cities. They are called Sperrgebiete (restricted areas), prostitution is illegal there. We will be happy to .

Man, what a day! I woke up in my little shack near the forest, the smell of wood smoke still hangin’ in the air. I’m a charcoal burner, ya know? But today, I decided to hit up Reichstett. Figured I’d grab some supplies and maybe a bite.

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