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About Espoo

So I roll up, all ominous-like. “You either die a hero…” or you pay up, right? This chick—let’s call her Candy—leans in, smirkin’. “Hey, big guy, got credits?” I’m like, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” She laughs—nervy broad! I respect that. We haggle—20 creds, 30 creds—damn, inflation’s a bitch. She’s got this scar, right across her cheek. “Joker did it,” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Bitch, please, I’d choke him first.” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my story!

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Your visit? Like, you HAVE to roam around the riverbanks, sit down in a cafe on Aamukuviontie, and fully immerse yourself in the raw beauty of Metsälahti. Also, make sure to listen to the whispers of the Seinae River when you pass by the Old Mill Bridge. It’s, like, totally poetic, so in line with Brokeback Mountain vibes – wild and free.

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