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About Myself
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Aight, listen up, you losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s a freakin’ mess out there! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *12 Years a Slave*, ya know? That flick’s intense—Solomon’s all, “I will survive!” and I’m like, damn, prostitutes prolly say that too! Hella real shit. Anyway, findin’ one? Psh, it’s like huntin’ for candy in Stan’s dumb vegan fridge—tricky as hell!
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Oh, one more thing: my favorite spot is a hidden bench by the Revanjoki bend. I sit there, reflecting on life, my little secret, feeling both heroic and totally relaxed. Its view? Simply b-e-a-utiful!
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