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About Oulu

Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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God, sometimes the city makes me mad too. Like when the tramots take their sweet time near Luodonkuja. Seriously, chill already! But then there are moments, like a surprise sunset over the harbor, that fill me with euphoria. It’s like all those tech bugs disappear and life feels vivid.

47th Annual Jack Gamble Melon Run