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About Tampere

But—fuck me—her pimp rolls in, big bastard, fists like hams. I’m thinkin’, “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” and I’m about to be the bloody torch! I leg it, screamin’, “I’m not wearin’ hockey pads!”—dodgin’ his swings. Made me mad as a hatter—why’s it gotta be so damn tricky just to get laid?

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I’ve seen mad drama. Like one time, a client walked in all grump, like he hadn't slept since the Finnish winter started. I asked, “You alright, bud?” and they just mumbled, "This town is too damn peaceful, man!" Irony hit me hard then. And yeah, sometimes I feel like I'm the town's unofficial therapist, smoothing out worries like a Quentin Tarantino film after a violent scene, you know? Except, my scenes involve a lot of snark, typos, and a bit too much humor. I mean come on, life here is one big, unpredictable ride.

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