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But den – surprise! – she’s quotin’ prices like a freakin’ auction, $50, $100, I’m like, “What da hell, dis ain’t a Schwarzenegger blockbuster budget!” I laugh, sarcastic, “Ya tink I’m made of gold, huh?” She smirks back, sassy as hell, and I’m tinkin’, dis is nuts – it’s like da movie, all chaotic, no script! I’m tempted, ya, but I’m Arnold – I don’t just jump in, I strategize, I dominate!

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Oh, and then there's Parc del Correu. Man, that park has trees that whisper our sins. It's like, every tree is alive, darling. I always rant there; its winding paths – got like, three twisty lanes – and a hidden pond that’s bomb. I forgot 2 mention: one time, i had the wildest heart-to-heart with a local couple. They were joking that love freakin’ heals all. Crazy, right?

Shocking before and after photos show the devastation from flash floods in Spain