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About Barcelona

So, I lean over, real gruff, say, “How much, lady?” She smirks, throws out a number—50 bucks! 50 freakin bucks! I’m pissed—highway robbery for 15 minutes of awkward! “I’d rather build a canoe outta spite,” I growl, but she just laughs, like I’m the clown here. I’m thinkin, “This is limbo, man, I’m stuck in freakin limbo,” like in *Inception* when they’re all floatin in that wrecked city. Surprised me, though—she didn’t flinch, tough as nails, gotta respect that. Made me almost happy, seein a gal hold her own in this dump.

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Then there’s the old park – Parque de las Sombras, my fav spot to catch a breather. Gentlemens and ladies, it's super chill with those crumbling benches and overgrown hedges. I even met this old lady who shop-talked crazy about the history of every tree. I was like, "c'mon, no capes!" and she winked. Bwahaha!

How to cook a violent Viking stew—and a giant geode