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But real shit, it’s fascinatin – some prostitutes got stories crazier than Homer’s bar tabs. Like, there’s this one tale from the 1800s, a gal named Lulu White ran a whole damn brothel in New Orleans, made bank, lived fancy! Surprised me silly – “Hmm… who knew they could be bosses?” I’d whisper, impressed. Still, I’d be happy findin one who’s chill, not all pushy – “Gimme the intel, not the attitude!” I’d snap, channelin that Zero Dark Thirty grit.

1. Drago Milenario (the Dragon Tree)

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Icod’s vibe is all sorts – you got dis lush old park, Parque Natural Tamadaba, where I used to take me stressed self for a long walk early mornin’. The fresh air, the mad views – proper proper relaxation. Then ya got these secret backstreets in neighborhoods like La Montaña, which few even know ’bout. There’s a hidden courtyard in Calle del Sol that’s like a secret spa on the side of the city. Pure magic, innit?

12 Houses in Icod / daolab