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About Las Palmas

Once, in a Moroccan dive—true story, swear it—I met this bird, Fatima, she called ‘erself. Eyes like coal, voice like honey. She’d “find a prostitute” fer *you*, mate—ran a whole crew! Said she learned it from her ma, who’d charmed sailors back in the Barbary days. Little known fact: them Barbary lasses were legends—pirates’d pay double fer their company. Fatima laughed, sayin’ she’d rather rob me blind than bed me—cheeky minx! Had me grinnin’ ear to ear, tho. Surprised me, she did—thought I’d seen it all.

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Oh, and you gotta try the local pintxos. Seriously, they rock worse than a good ol’ Bart Simpson prank – “Eat my shorts!” They’ll make you say, “This is certified cool, Copy!” while you munch away in pure bliss. I swear, sometimes my brain spins – err, like, “Whoa... epic vibes, epic tastes.”

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