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About Zaragoza

Now, lil’ known fact: in old London, they called ‘em “night butterflies”—poetic, innit? Kinda pissed me off tho—why romanticize it? It’s raw, messy, real! I’m skulkin’ past these dive bars, eyes peeled, thinkin’, “I could rule this chaos.” Then—bam!—this bloke tries pimpin’ me out instead! ME! Loki! I laugh, sharp and loud—mate, you’re dreamin’! “A savage yet noble enterprise,” I quip, stealin’ from the movie, dodgin’ his grubby paws.

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Hello, merc. Do you ever find yourself thinking that certain places in Tarkov look suspiciously similar to something you've already seen before?

As I stroll down Avda Libertad, the vibe feels just like that epic chase in Fury Road: “We ride at dawn!” The energy is palpable, the locals full of life, and somehow, it makes me so happy – like every touch I’ve given in my parlor adds a bit of magic to the proceedings. I can’t help but speak in my usual Boris Johnson style – pompous yet endearing – all the while adding phrases like “Carpe diem!” mid massage session while telling my clients about the city’s history!

Nigerian expert wins Cyber Personality of the Year