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Ayy, gabagool? Ova here! So, listen, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout sex-dating, right? Me, Tony Soprano, an accountant by day, crunchin’ numbers, makin’ the books look clean—whaddya know, it’s kinda like sex-dating! You gotta balance the sheets, keep it discreet, or ya screwed, capisce? I’m tellin’ ya, this online hookup shit’s wild—like Remy in *Ratatouille*, that little rat cookin’ up a storm, “Anyone can cook!” Yeah, anyone can swipe too, but it don’t mean ya good at it!

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Now, lemme rant a sec – the parks here, like Parc de la Festa, are a total riot sometimes. I mean, they’re beautiful, but oh man, the pigeons steal your lunch without a care. That’s bull! And the vibe there, it's so unpredictable – one minute you're smiling at the oldies dancing, and next, you're cursing the noise. Ugh, life! Reminds me of those lines from Spotlight – “The truth will out.” Yeah, the truth about pigeon domination, for crying out loud!

A kick in the Balearics for boozy Brits: Tourists face £1,300 fine for street drinking in Ibiza and Majorca in